A Statement From Minister Binya_Elsweyr Regarding the Release of Kenyan Territories

Citizens of https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af1612,

After extensive negotiations, repeated discussions, counter-discussions, revised discussions, and discussions regarding previous discussions…

This one and the Cabinet have reached a conclusion.

The Kenyan territories under South African control have been released without restrictions, conditions, payments, or additional agreements attached.

Yes.

Completely.

At some point during negotiations, the situation evolved beyond diplomacy and entered what medical professionals may classify as:
“Severe administrative exhaustion.”

Entire meetings were reportedly spent debating clauses about clauses referencing earlier clauses.

One advisor was discovered staring silently at a map of Rwanda for forty minutes.

Another attempted to submit a peace treaty written entirely in bullet points and emotional distress.

This one personally reviewed documents so long that the strange Uzbek computer began making concerned noises.

Eventually, Cabinet reached a unified realization:

The negotiations had achieved a level of mental fatigue previously thought impossible outside accounting departments.

And so, with remarkable bipartisan agreement, Cabinet collectively decided:

“Perhaps everyone would be happier if the territories were simply returned.”

Reports indicate morale across Government has risen dramatically since the decision.

Several ministers have smiled for the first time in days.

One Treasury official reportedly whispered:
“We are free…”

This one wishes to make clear:
The decision was not made out of hostility, weakness, or surrender.

It was made because every participant involved appeared one meeting away from spiritually leaving their physical body.

To Kenya:
The territories have been returned. May your people govern them well, your negotiations become shorter, and your treaty clauses require fewer diagrams.

To South Africa:
Cabinet remains functional, conscious, and cautiously optimistic about the future.

To the engineers studying the Uzbek computer:
This one apologizes for feeding the machine several draft treaties. The device did not deserve that.

This one now intends to rest briefly before the next regional crisis inevitably appears through the front door holding paperwork.

May the borders remain calm.
May negotiations remain short.
And may nobody mention “proxy clauses” for at least several days.

– https://app.warera.io/user/68e538c09c4aafa6f1a0bd5c