Dear Caeruleus,
What a delightful piece of fiction. Truly. We especially enjoyed the part where you censored Danish freedom in the comment section. a fitting metaphor for the entire Swedish proposal.
Let us address your points with the seriousness they deserve.
Rasmus Klump has sailed the arctic seas alone since 1951. He has navigated storms, unknown lands, and genuine danger without supervision. The suggestion that he now requires a cartoon bear to oversee his every move says considerably more about Sweden's instincts than it does about Denmark's independence.
Regarding Tuborg we appreciate the generous offer to keep it available as a last resort. We would like to extend the same courtesy to ABBA.
Now, Sjælland as a parking lot. Sjælland, home to one of the oldest continuously inhabited capitals in Northern Europe, a city of design, culture, gastronomy and history repurposed for Swedish tourist parking. We are genuinely moved by the vision. Copenhagen will of course remain exactly where it is, while Swedish tourists continue paying our parking fees.
You invoke Bamse, a bear whose entire philosophy is that strength must come with kindness. We agree completely. Which is precisely why an unprovoked invasion of Sjælland fails the Bamse test rather spectacularly.
Finally, Norway and Finland, you were invited to this. Choose carefully.
Denmark remains free. Rasmus Klump remains unsupervised. Tuborg remains first choice.
ToastyDane, Vice President of the very much still sovereign Kingdom of Denmark