AL35 | زمن المطبلين ؟

قِسْمُ التَّحْلِيلِ وَالتَّعْلِيقِ وَالكَارِيكَاتِيرِ ◇

◇ A Section for Analysis, Commentary and Editorial Cartoons

🗞️ زَمَنُ المُطَبِّلِينَ

THE AGE OF THE CHEERLEADERS

يَبْدُو أَنَّ الإِعْلَانَ عَنْ تَرَشُّحِ سُوكُو لَمْ يُطْلِقْ الحَمْلَةَ الانتِخَابِيَّةَ فَقَطْ، بَلْ فَتَحَ أَيْضًا مَصْنَعًا جَدِيدًا لِصِنَاعَةِ المُنْقِذِينَ.

Apparently, Sko’s presidential announcement did not merely launch an electoral campaign — it also opened a new factory for manufacturing “saviors.”

فَقَبْلَ أَنْ نَرَى البَرْنَامَجَ، وَقَبْلَ أَنْ نَرَى النَّتَائِجَ، وَحَتَّى قَبْلَ أَنْ نَرَى صُنْدُوقَ الاقْتِرَاعِ، كَانَ بَعْضُ المُطَبِّلِينَ قَدْ أَنْهَوْا المُهِمَّةَ: الرَّجُلُ هُوَ الحَلُّ!

Before we see the program, before we see the results, and even before we see the ballot box, some cheerleaders have already completed the mission: the man is the solution!

وَفِي المَشْهَدِ الكَارِيكَاتِيرِيِّ، يَبْدُو الأَمْرُ بَسِيطًا جِدًّا: خُذْ فَشَلَ الحُكُومَةِ السَّابِقَةِ، ضَعْهُ فِي صُنْدُوقٍ، ارْمِ عَلَيْهِ بَعْضَ الخَطَبِ، ثُمَّ أَخْرِجْ مِنَ الجِهَةِ الأُخْرَى «مُنْقِذًا» جَاهِزًا لِلْتَّصْفِيقِ.

In the caricature version, it is wonderfully simple: take the previous government’s failures, put them in a box, throw in a few speeches, and out comes a ready-made “savior” — complete with applause.

نَقْدُ السُّلْطَةِ السَّابِقَةِ مَشْرُوعٌ، وَكَشْفُ أَخْطَائِهَا ضَرُورِيٌّ. لَكِنَّ المُشْكِلَةَ تَبْدَأُ عِنْدَمَا يَتَحَوَّلُ «هُمْ فَشِلُوا» إِلَى إِذًا هُوَ سَيَنْجَحُ.

Criticizing the previous government is legitimate, and exposing its failures is necessary. The problem begins when “They failed” magically becomes “Therefore, he will succeed.”

وَهُنَا يَظْهَرُ دَوْرُ المُطَبِّلِ المُحْتَرِفِ: لَا يَنْتَظِرُ النَّتَائِجَ، بَلْ يَصْنَعُهَا فِي خَيَالِهِ ثُمَّ يَطْلُبُ مِنَ النَّاسِ التَّصْفِيقَ لَهَا.

This is where the professional cheerleader enters: he does not wait for results; he creates them in his imagination and then asks everyone else to applaud.

وَرُبَّمَا نَحْتَاجُ فِي المُرْحَلَةِ القَادِمَةِ إِلَى وِزَارَةٍ جَدِيدَةٍ: وِزَارَةِ التَّصْفِيقِ وَالتَّلْمِيعِ، بِمِيزَانِيَّةٍ مَفْتُوحَةٍ وَمُدِيرٍ لَا يَتْعَبُ مِنَ التَّصْفِيقِ.

Perhaps the next government will need a new ministry: the Ministry of Applause and Polishing, with an unlimited budget and a minister who never gets tired of clapping.

لَكِنَّ السِّيَاسَةَ لَيْسَتْ مَسْرَحًا لِصِنَاعَةِ الأَبْطَالِ قَبْلَ الامْتِحَانِ. المُرَشَّحُ يُقَيَّمُ بِبَرْنَامَجِهِ، وَقَرَارَاتِهِ، وَنَتَائِجِهِ؛ لَا بِعَدَدِ الأَيْدِي الَّتِي صَفَّقَتْ لَهُ.

But politics is not a theater for manufacturing heroes before the test begins. A candidate should be judged by his program, decisions and results — not by the number of hands applauding him.

🎭 الخَلَاصَةُ | THE PUNCHLINE

فِي زَمَنِ المُطَبِّلِينَ، قَدْ يَصْبَحُ المُرَشَّحُ مُنْقِذًا قَبْلَ أَنْ يُصْبِحَ رَئِيسًا، وَقَدْ تُصْبِحُ النَّتَائِجُ قَدِيمَةً قَبْلَ أَنْ تَبْدَأَ الاِنْتِخَابَاتُ.

In the age of cheerleaders, a candidate can become a savior before becoming president — and the results can become history before the election even begins.

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