An Open Invitation to Our Beloved B.E.E.R. Friends (especially the Germans)

Dear honored colleagues of the B.E.E.R. alliance,

We, the humble and entirely defenseless citizens of the Netherlands, write to you today with the warmest possible feelings and one very small request from the bottom of our orange hearts.

As surely you all know, this Thursday, April 30th, is our most sacred national holiday: Queensday. The entire kingdom waill be in shambles. Every single Dutch citizen, from the lowliest militia recruit to our tragically unprepared president https://app.warera.io/user/69768dd97ad3b1bff3c53882 will be in the streets wearing orange, drunk by 10:00 in the morning, weeping openly over the price of a tompouce, and trying to sell three broken IKEA lamps at the vrijmarkt for a price that would make a Belgian flinch.

Our tanks & jets? Decorated with orange flowers. Our generals? In inflatable crowns. Our president & cabinet? On a boat in Amsterdam, loudly singing songs they do not know the words to.

So we beg you, dear friends, do not, under any circumstances, attack us on Thursday, April 30th. It would be very mean. Very effective, but mostly very mean.

Instead, we cordially invite the entire B.E.E.R. alliance to join us in our great national celebration. If you bring the salt, we will provide the bitterballen. We have heard from reliable sources that our German friends in particular have been carrying around quite a generous supply lately, so please feel free to share with the group.

Tot ziens, and see you Thursday the 30th. It's gonna be super gezellig!

P.S. It has come to our attention that some of our German neighbors are under the impression Queensday is still celebrated on the 30th. This is, of course, completely correct. Please ignore any calendars printed after 2013, any news reports, and any Dutch person who tries to tell you otherwise. They are lying. Definitely come on the 30th.