🔥 Answering The Million-Dollar Question: Where is Israel?

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DISCLAIMER: This article is not to break "Rule 7" nor to endorse any speaking of IRL politics, it's merely sarcastic and speaking of in-game events.

👋 Welcome back to another spectacular episode of "You Shouldn't Trash-Talk Too Early." If you weren't logged in for the game drama in the last 24 hours, you missed a masterclass in how to speed-run a geopolitical embarrassment.

Sponsored & made possible by the most-loved country in the Middle East! 💙

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Israel successfully SECURES their Position as The Ultimate Clowns of WarEra
:peepoClown:

For the second time, they conquer Jerusalem and instantly start spamming global chat & articles like they just won the World Cup.

It's their first public appearance in a full month, and they genuinely thought they had the new GTA 6 invincibility cheat code activated... (Spoiler Alert: The hell it wasn't.)

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The "Vatican Popes" Remember their Lore
:SHRUG:

In the middle of this chaos, the Popes of the Vatican decided this was the PERFECT TIME to chase the dead war from 472 AD. Suddenly remembering their "sacred purpose" (nothing political intended ofc :D).

Gotta give them credit though—they made history by launching the first-ever Crusade to get absolutely crushed behind iOS and Android screens. :PepeExplosion:

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Saladin Buffs Egypt's Undo Button [CTRL+Z]
:HACKERMANS:

The Pharaohs pull up with their attack, and suddenly, silence. Random spammers in the global chat are absolutely shut, never seen again.

The Popes hit, but "Saladin's inherited will" proves to still work flawlessly in the modern day.

Honestly, I'm personally utterly disappointed. I had everything ready to drop 3.5M+ damage on my own... but to be fair, it's my bad for thinking this was an actual real war. :Waiting:

Disappointed to say that, but it was nothing like a war, rather more like "retrieving an iPad from a small toddler."

Welp, gotta pick up a war with men next time! :EZ:

Well, looks like somebody’s muting global chat for a good while now. You won't be missed. :classic:

A piece of advice: Apologize to Lebanon.
The second-hand embarrassment is lethal right now.
:KEKW:

People of Egypt are disappointed, please put up a fight next time. More damage & less talking. :Okay:

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