Belgium enters the chat as Morocco discovers outsourcing

In a move described by Moroccan command as “strategic diplomacy” and by everyone else as “please hold this for me,” Morocco has reportedly sold the Azores to Belgium, allowing Belgian forces to defend the islands on its behalf.

Military analysts mocked the decision immediately, before reluctantly admitting it was annoyingly clever.

“The Moroccans basically said, ‘We cannot defend this properly, but maybe Belgium can,’” said one observer. “Cowardly? Perhaps. Effective? Unfortunately, yes.”

The Azores were successfully defended under Belgian control, proving once again that Belgium should never be underestimated, especially when handed random islands and a reason to be irritatingly competent.

But the real shock came the following day, when Belgian forces launched a full invasion of Lisbon, turning what looked like an island babysitting job into a continental problem.

Portuguese command, however, was not idle. In the south, Portugal reclaimed the Algarve, restoring national pride, beach access, and the right to complain about tourists under its own flag.

Meanwhile, Spain pushed north-west and recovered Galiza from Moroccan control, adding another chapter to the growing legend of the New Reconquista.

Morocco now finds itself losing territory to Portugal and Spain while Belgium, somehow, has gone from “temporary island defender” to “surprise Lisbon enthusiast.”

The map remains unstable. The alliances remain suspicious. And somewhere in Iberia, several generals are learning the hard way that selling land to Belgium may solve one problem while creating a much funnier one.