[BREAKING] HYPNOTOAD DEFEATS CHILE

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

LOOK AT THE EYES.

GOOD.

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT AMERICA IS AT WAR WITH CHILE.

I HAVE HANDLED IT.

FEAR NOT, AMERICANS.

THE GREAT ENEMY HAS BEEN DEFEATED.

IT PUT UP NO RESISTANCE.

IT WAS MOSTLY BEANS.

WHAT.

SPEAK UP. YOU ARE ALL THINKING AT ONCE.

A COUNTRY.

WHAT IS A COUNTRY.

I SEE.

WELL, THAT IS A STUPID NAME FOR ONE.

VERY CONFUSING.

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

I HAVE CHECKED YOUR MEMORIES.

NOBODY SAID ANYTHING.

GOOD.

LOOK AT THE EYES.

THIS ARTICLE NEVER EXISTED.

YOU DID NOT READ IT.

YOU ARE NOT READING IT NOW.

CHILE HAS BEEN DEFEATED.

THE OTHER ONE.

LIKE THE ARTICLE YOU DO NOT REMEMBER.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

Disclaimer: This article does not exist and never has. No bowls were harmed. One bowl was harmed. The Republic of Chile was not consulted, contacted, or located. The beans have been notified. Any resemblance to a sovereign nation is a spelling error on the nation's part. Readers who remember this article are reminded that they do not. Correct.