Hello! My name is CrownClownRoyale, professional WarEra clown, semi-professional Solomon Island Muppeteer, and self-proclaimed mascot for the Knights Templars MU!
-- R E P O R T I N G -- L I V E ! ! ! --
Due to a SHORTAGE in Turkish Muppet Credit, Current Head Turkish Muppet Vakos, the Most Honorable and Powerful Leader of the Turkish Territory of Cyprus, claims "HuRt FeELiNgs!!!" after Alpha Chad T-Posing Extraordinaire 777Thor REJECTS TURKISH CYPRUS'S REQUEST FOR AN EMBASSY ! ! !
"Uhh- yeah, uhh, he tried to bribe me with 1 btc because he said that's all that Turkey could afford," said a Solomon Islands cabinet insider. When asked for further comment, the anonymous source shrugged, and said,
"Vakos just wants the Knights Templars and Diamond Cats to apologize for hurting his feelings. We, the Solomon Island government, have no control over the MUs present in the isles. He just should reach out to Vlad and try to settle the matter as a proper adult country leader would."
In a recent deescalation of tensions, Cyprus has taken L after L every time they try to attack Serbian Greece. Most notably, the MUs in question have put orders on almost every single battle involving the Muppet State of Turkish Cyprus. "I've been relaxing on a beach at a Tiki Bar," said Vlad, when asked for comment, "I have absolutely no clue what's happening. I'm just enjoying my time not being controlled by the Turks. Vakos should try this sometime; taking a remote vacation somewhere. Dude seems tense. Rigid even. A break would do him wonders, I believe."
A member of the Knights Templars MU said to us, "All we do is point and click at anything with a Turkish-Cypriot flag. It's that easy."
As further developments occur, I, CrownClownRoyale, will continue to report on this truly dramatic turn of events concerning the fate of Turkish-controlled Cyprus! Until the next big thing, this is CrownClownRoyale, signing off!
-- R E P O R T I N G -- L I V E ! ! ! --