BRUSSELS ā In what historians are already calling "the greatest identity crisis in Belgian gaming history," the online game Warera has been thrown into complete turmoil following the simultaneous appearance of not one, not two, but three players bearing the name of Belgium's most famous billionaire: Marc_Coucke, MarcCoucke2, and MarcCoucke3.
Sources close to the situation confirm that upon logging in, Marc_Coucke ā who had presumably sold Omega Pharma for ā¬3.6 billion and used the profits to buy a gaming PC ā was horrified to discover his name had already been claimed. Twice.
"I own Anderlecht. I own hotels in Durbuy. I own a castle," said a source allegedly close to Marc_Coucke. "And now I can't even own my own username?"
MarcCoucke2 has so far refused to comment, reportedly busy trying to acquire MarcCoucke3's territory through an investment vehicle called "De Centen Partij"
MarcCoucke3, meanwhile, issued a statement saying he is "exploring all options," which Belgian analysts interpreted as meaning he will either buy the server or sell it to an American company for ā¬3.8 billion.
Legal experts warn this could spiral into a ā¬266 million lawsuit, citing precedent from the famous Perrigo case. "At this point," one Ghent law professor told us, "the safest move is for MarcCoucke2 and MarcCoucke3 to rebrand as KV Oostende and Lille OSC respectively and just accept their role in the portfolio."
As of press time, all three Couckes are locked in a bidding war for Durbuy, which apparently also exists in Warera.
Belgium remains Belgium.