Chapter 3: Congratulations!
Alpara Kolumna: A Reporter's Chronicle (Season 1)
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Chapter 3: Congratulations!
The preparations for Nina’s 10th birthday are already well underway, and as promised, I’m helping out. Grandma Hilde and Theo are really going all out. Nina is going to be thrilled!
The party is already in full swing and Nina is playing with her cousins. I haven’t been to a birthday party in ages. I can’t even remember all the children’s names: I’ve been told that Will, Wolter, Constant, Lena and Magdalena are Isolde and Reinhard’s children. Maximilian and Gema are apparently two cousins too, but I’ve forgotten whose. Oh well... who cares about minor characters like children anyway.
I’m so nervous, guys. I haven’t given anyone a present in ages. I hope Nina likes it. Oh dear... she’s opening it right now, I hope she likes it SCREAM “OH MY GOD, IT’S SO CUTE, I LOVE IT, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Who’s it from?!” I raise my hand and hesitate briefly: “It’s from me, Nina. I wish you all the best for your birthday. Do you like it?” Theo replies: “Like it? The last time she screamed with joy was when we went on the rollercoaster at Phantasialand for the first time.” A sense of relief continues to spread through my chest. Phew... I was so scared of this situation. I think I’ll step back a bit from the situation and head towards the garden while Nina unwraps her presents.
I only have a moment’s peace, because no sooner have I stepped back than I’m swarmed by two men. “Well, look who’s here. You’re a real pro. A raccoon soft toy. I’d never have thought of that in a million years. I gave Nina a few shares in my telephone company.” – “And I gave her one of my 11 Porsches.” Blimey... who on earth are these blokes? “Sorry, we haven’t introduced ourselves. My name is Christian L. and this is my brother Marcel D. We’re your maternal uncles.” Oh yes, that’s right... Nina’s mum had two brothers. Theo mentioned something about that. He said the two of them are proper businessmen and that I should get on their good side. Er... “Alpara... right?” said Marcel. “You’ve made quite an impression on me and my brother, and we want to... well... thank you. But not in the form of money. We want to give you a chance to achieve something great. To pursue your dream: reporter... does that ring a bell? Of course, you’d also like to restore your reputation with your family. It’s a shame what happened to them. You’re not really to blame, and yet... you’re the black sheep of the family.” As Marcel speaks these words, my mouth goes dry. How does this man know so much about me? “We know everything about you... Kolumna...” added Christian. “THERE’S CAKE!” shouted Hilde across the garden. “Oh, cake—we can’t miss that. Can we?” They give me a pat on the shoulder and head towards the terrace, and I’m stuck here for the moment. I shouldn’t try to make things any worse than they already are, even though these two gentlemen have just pulled the rug out from under me. I’m not going to let on that it’s affected me.
Friends, I’m telling you. I’ve probably put on 5 kilos already because of Hilde. But that woman is just amazing when it comes to food. “I wish for…” says Nina. “AH! You mustn’t say that out loud. You have to think about it really hard whilst you blow out the candles so it comes true.” Nina closes her eyes, pauses briefly, and blows out the candles in one go. She opens her eyes and looks sad for a moment. It only lasted a split second and was gone straight away. The little one is still suffering terribly from the loss of her mother. Oh, sweetie... if only you knew... I can relate to that so well. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity. I need to think of something to take her mind off things... hmmmmm...
“Hey Nina! You got a new football from Maximilian, didn’t you? Shall we have a go with it?” She looks at me with sparkling eyes. Don’t cry, Alpara. Don’t cry! I smile it away... phew...
Operation Diversion was a success, and during the course of the afternoon...
The afternoon draws to a close and we all set about tidying up together, whilst Nina says goodbye to her friends.
“Phew... what a day. Nina’s in bed. Everything’s tidied up and I’m absolutely knackered. Hilde’s been in bed for three quarters of an hour now, too. I just want to collapse into my own bed right now.” I nod in agreement, but... “Alpara... how about the three of us go out for a bit? It’s the perfect opportunity for us to get to know each other better – or should I say... the best chance you’ll ever get, hm?” The two of them are getting closer than I’d like. I give in to their insistence that I come along. And so...
...we head off to their favourite bar. “We love clocking in fraud... but we HATE clocking in fraud! That’s our motto. Oh, by the way, a friend of ours is already waiting in the pub and would really like to meet you in person,” said Christian. I decide to let the two of them go ahead so I can get a better sense of the situation.
Am I imagining things, or does that bloke look like a duck? I’m used to seeing myself as a raccoon, but I’ve never seen anyone else as an animal-human like me before. Was there something in the cake? Am I asleep? Calm down, Kolumna! There must be an explanation. For now, just try not to let on. “HEY GERNHARD, OLD FRIEND” – “How are you, Isolde, my dear friend?” say Christian and Marcel to the duck-man, who seem to have known each other for a long time. “Hey lads. QUACK! Everything’s fine with me and Isolde! QUACK!” He turns to the two of them and gives each of them a handshake so fierce that the place shakes. One handshake stronger than the next... “And you, QUACK! must be Alpara, right, QUACK!?” – “Yes, Quack... er, I mean...” – “...Gernhard is my name.” Gernhard. I’m sure I’ve heard that name somewhere before. Now I remember! The children at the birthday party today were the children of Gernhard Reinholzen and Isolde Reinholzen. But they weren’t at the birthday party today at all. “Come on! Let’s have a drink! The first round’s on me!” Christian blurts out.
So there we were, the four of us, swapping stories. What it was like before the war. It was a carefree time before the Italians and Luxembourgers arrived and started stealing our beer. The only thing left for us to do was to cook pasta in truly disgusting water to undermine the morale of the Italian army. But that was just a small consolation. We still haven’t managed to free ourselves completely.
As the evening wore on, Christian and Marcel said their goodbyes. Gernhard persuaded me to stay a little longer. I’d just take a taxi home. Gernhard told me about his children and I told him about my adventures at the birthday party today. We laughed a lot together. At some point, Gernhard glanced at the barman. The barman suddenly gave us the nastiest side-eye and shouted: “Right, folks, the pub’s closing! Everyone out!” I was just about to get up, but Gernhard held me by the arm: “Not us...” – “Thanks, Blackard...” He nodded and started tidying up the pub.
“Did you enjoy yourself today, Alpara?” Gernhard asked me. I cleared my throat briefly. The alcohol makes my tongue heavy: “Enjoyed what, Gernhard?” His expression darkened. “The peace, the carefree nature of a normal life. Children laughing. Grandmothers cooking the very best for their loved ones to distract them, even for just a day, from the horror of this regime under which we live! I’ll ask you again: did you enjoy it or not?” The colour drains from my face. Gernhard is so serious that even his quacking has stopped. “You’ve noticed, haven’t you?” I try to hide what he means, but I was inattentive for a brief moment. This man is simply too perceptive! “You see my true form, don’t you? You’re a good judge of character, just like me. Giving a little girl a raccoon for her birthday when you see yourself as one... has... a certain undertone.” I lower my head and pause briefly. Gernhard stares at me intently and whispers: “Do you really think you deserve for her to like you for something you’re not? You’re not a raccoon, you’ll never really be one.” He rises from the chair, which tips over with a thud, turns me towards him by the shoulders so that I’m looking straight into his eyes, and shouts: “BUT YOU’LL KEEP CRAWLING THROUGH THE RUBBISH! YOU’LL KEEP BEING RUBBISH TO SOCIETY! AND ABOVE ALL, YOU’LL KEEP BEING A DANGER... TO OTHERS...”
...
...
As his voice echoes through the room, I just stare ahead into the empty space where his eyes could just make out the deepest part of my soul. He picks up the chair. To me, it felt like slow motion. He sets it down and sits down, takes a sip and mutters to himself: “Just like me.” He sets the glass down, which makes such a dull thud that it makes me flinch. “Alpara...” he says, scratching his head: “Theo has been singing your praises ever since you got closer at the barracks. Marcel and Christian were tasked with watching you the whole time at the party and reporting everything back to me, so I could find out if you’re a good fit for us. Before you arrived here with the two of them, I consulted with the others and it was only narrowly voted in favour.” I’m completely baffled – what on earth is Gernhard on about, please: “I really have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m far too drunk for this.”
Gernhard hands me a sheet of paper without saying a word. I hesitate briefly before taking it, glance briefly at the blank page and then back at Gernhard. He, however, just stares into his empty beer glass and says dryly, “You have to turn it over.” My brain just isn’t cut out for this. I mean, for thinking, that is. I turn the sheet over...
“Congratulations, you have been chosen, Alpara Kolumna, to fight alongside the best of the best in this country. You’d be surprised if you knew who’s all involved! Come here tomorrow at midday. Then you’ll get your answers.” I read the note 1-2-3-4-5 times and still can’t process it. I turn to Gernhard to ask him a question. But he’s already vanished. I hear a car pulling up outside. Blackard takes my glass and throws it into his sink, saying to me in a calm voice:
“I think it’s time for you to go home, mate.” I get up, leave the pub, and on the way to Hilde’s house, all I can hear is pure, endless, deafening silence...
Thanks to the Community!
@699a0bc442ad8230adf4d41b as "Christian L."
@69a14b324d2abd93de74dc0a as "Marcel D."
@698f255eb35d4f6d09a2613d as Bar "Arbeitszeitbetrug"
@69a8567cc1a99b8fc5cdbdc6 as "Gernhard Reinholzen"
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