Come on Holiday with the Italian Socialist Party!
Finally, the nice season has arrived, and the summer breeze fills offices and trenches, bringing with it a great desire for holidays.
Unfortunately, for many, organizing vacations turns out to be a real ordeal. The prospect of crowded beaches, sweaty balls, and bloodsucking beach resort managers can discourage even the toughest vacationer.
If you too are tired of:
· Facing hordes of Germans in Birkenstocks to conquer a strip of sand narrower than a student apartment in Milan.
· Paying 150 euros for two sunbeds, an umbrella, and a spit in the face from the manager of the Acquasburra beach club in Pizzosterco, Carboggia.
· Getting robbed of your phone, wallet, and girlfriend within 15 minutes of arriving on an island with an unpronounceable name, occupied equally by local wildlife and roasted Brits.
Have no fear, comrades! The new PSI vacation program has arrived!
3 unmissable locations for all types of vacationers. All-inclusive accommodations, group excursions, forced lab— entertainment, and lots and lots of fun!
Without further ado, here are this year’s offers! Are you ready? Let’s go!
Vorkuta
Do you suffer from the heat? Fear crowded beaches? Looking for an active and refreshing experience?
Vorkuta is the destination for you!
Located in pristine Western Siberia, the Vorkuta camping resort offers an exciting mix of nature, sports, and group activities:
Stay in a characteristic socialist studio apartment! Furnished according to the latest trends in Soviet modernism, our cozy lodgings will encourage interaction with your interesting new roommates. And who knows, friendship might turn into something more!
Join group excursions to the cobalt mines! By exploring the fascinating Vorkutinskaya mines, you’ll have the opportunity to experience the fulfilling life of Siberian miners while contributing to the growth of the country. Staying fit has never been so patriotic!
Make lifelong friendships! Our entertainment activities are specifically designed to foster trust and team building. Our head entertainer Sergei will break his back to give you an experience you won’t easily forget. Pig’s honor!
Xinjiang Cultural Center
Are you a culture lover? Do you prefer museums to crowded beaches? Are you looking for an unusual experience… inside a commune?
Say no more—the Xinjiang Cultural Reeducation Center is the place for you!
Immerse yourself in the fascinating culture of the Far East! Thanks to private lessons organized by the Chinese Communist Party, you too can become true experts in Marxism in its hottest modern interpretation.
Improve your employability with accelerated language courses! Did you know Mandarin Chinese is the second most spoken language in the world? With our tutors, in just a few weeks you’ll gain the linguistic skills for the world of tomorrow. Our success rate is unmatched: 100% of our participants do not leave the center before reaching B2 level!
Sing with us! With daily group singing sessions, you’ll memorize great hits of Chinese songwriting such as 社会主义好, 解放区的天, and of course the classic 没有共产党就没有新中国! You’ll be the star of every karaoke!
Goli Otok Beach Resort
Last but not least, here is a seaside destination for ocean lovers that offers blue waters and breathtaking views without emptying your wallet.
Located on the stunning Adriatic coast, the island of Goli Otok is the envy of every seaside destination.
Forget crowded beaches! This exclusive island is closed to the public and reserved only for a few carefully selected individuals chosen by the party. Goodbye bourgeois teenagers on graduation trips. Welcome, inner peace!
Get the perfect beach body! Thanks to the revolutionary technique of permanent fasting, you’ll go from Kim Jong to young Stalin in no time. One at a time, comrades!
Enjoy the crystal-clear waters of the Adriatic! Miles of beaches, wild nature, and a sea so beautiful you’ll never manage to leave. It’s not a dream—it’s socialist reality!
So what are you waiting for? Come on vacation with us!*
Send a small contribution and one of our operators will contact you immediately to find the perfect plan for you and your family.
Socialist vacations—the reddest summer there is!
By the Committee for Tourism (COMINTOUR)
Signed: Porco Rosso, Secretary of the Committee for Tourism
*Return trip not included