Dear Nation,
They told me, “Join the army, it’ll be glorious.”
They said, “Pay your taxes, it’s for the greater good.”
They promised “opportunities” and gave me… a Q1 soup kitchen job.
So naturally, I did what any sane, underpaid, overtrained citizen would do:
I became a menace to the system.
It started small. I undercut the national food market by 0.01 currency. Harmless, right?
Then I sold boots to both sides of a war. Oops.
Then I may or may not have renamed my company "Tax Evasion Ltd." and offered 10% cashback on every bribe.
I’m not saying I’m proud.
I’m saying I’m profitable.
Here’s my 3-step guide to success:
Lie low. Work daily, train, keep your head down.
Stockpile. Hoard gold like a dragon with a gym membership.
Cause mild political panic. Run for office with the slogan: “Make War Era Chaotic Again.”
And it worked. I now own:
Two companies,
One suspicious-looking tank,
And the admiration of three shady citizens and a confused goat.
So if you’re tired of being polite and broke, join me.
We won’t change the world… but we’ll definitely confuse it.
Yours rebelliously,
The Minister of Mayhem (Unofficial)
CEO of Probably Not Legal Inc.