I obviously have a problem: I like opening boxes. I like it a normal, healthy amount, which is to say, not at all healthy, and entirely your fault if you keep tipping this articles. Let's do this together.

The Rule (a.k.a. How You Enable Me)

It's simple, which is exactly how these things get out of hand:

• 1 tip = 5 gold, which goes into box money. I don't even see it, it goes straight to the addiction.

• 1 box ≈ 3.5 gold

• Boxes don't open today. They queue up overnight so I can lie awake thinking about them, then I open all of them in tomorrow's article.

For example: 5 tips today = 25 gold = 5 boxes tomorrow (yes I did the math, no I'm not proud of how fast). Every tip is one more box I "have" to open. You're not funding content, you're funding a problem. Please keep funding the problem.

Today's Tally (Currently: Rock Bottom)

Day 1, so we're starting clean...

• Tips received: 0 (the calm before the storm)

• Gold accumulated: 0

• Boxes opening today: 0 — go on, fix that

Do Your Part

Every tip you send is a tiny push off the wagon, and I will take it gladly. If you don't tip, that's fine, I guess, but somewhere a box stays closed and we both have to live with that.

What You're Buying Into

Could be scraps. Could be a Legendary. Statistically it's probably scraps, but that's exactly the kind of thinking that keeps this whole operation running. I'll open every box on the record, the wins, the disasters, the long pause where I stare at the screen in silence.

Tip now, regret nothing, see the damage tomorrow in Day 2, with a real tally, real boxes, and the names of everyone who made it worse.

Today's Opening

Here's the damage:

1 Box Opened Today

The Math (Don't Look If You're Sensitive)

• Boxes opened: 1 at ≈ 3.595 gold each = 3.595 gold spent

• Market value of everything pulled:

  • 1 White = 6 Scraps, because this s**t is worthless @ 0,226 per Scrap = 1,356 g

• Net result today: [1.346 − 3.595] = -2.239 golds

• Running total since Day 1: -2.239 golds