Greetings, members of Vatou's Business. I am very angry today. My watch says Day 15 🇲🇿, which means we have entered a whole new era of Vatou not fixing the Mozambique flag.
I am done using my polite office voice. Today, I did not walk to Vatou’s desk. I stood right outside his office on my tallest adult legs, and I shouted some very serious corporate threats at him.
If Vatou thinks I am just 3 kids in a trench coat who does a business, he is wrong. I am just 1 man, but here is what a business man is going to make happen if that flag isn't fixed soon:
The Coffee Machine Ransom: I am going to take all the little milk cups from the breakroom and hide them under the tables. Good luck doing a coding without your morning dairy, Vatou.
The Swivel Chair: I know where the little lever is under his chair that makes it go up and down. If he doesn't change the flag, I am going to push it all the way down so he has to type like a tiny baby.
The Ultimate Spreadsheet Strike: I will personally go into the main office computer and press the backspace button. Imagine the financial damage!
Vatou opened the door and said, "Vincent, are you standing on someone's shoulders out here?"
I looked him right in the glasses and said, "I am standing on the shoulders of justice, Vatou. JUSTICE FOR MOZAM.
"You don't want to see my angry business face, Vatou. It looks like a frown, but bigger."
The time for talking about international trade accounts receivable is over. Now is the time for action.
Fix the Mozambique flag today, or tomorrow I am going to bring my loudest toy truck to the office and zoom it right past your desk while you are trying to do a meeting.