Nuremberg, December 29
Dear Jean,
I’d promised a letter from the front lines. Turns out it’s from Nuremberg instead of Düsseldorf. Not that I’m complaining, the constant shelling and gunfire at least keep us warm.
All good news to report.
Belgium has once again held its ground against Austria’s shameless attempt at conquest. They thought they could catch us off guard in the dead of night, but they forgot one thing: a Belgian never truly sleeps unless it’s with one eye open, watching over a pot of simmering beef stew.
The Austrian prisoners we took? Starving. Many broke down in tears at their first real meal, a hearty plate of Belgian beef stew and fries. No torture needed. Our diplomat, Babu, just had to offer a croissant and hot chocolate, and they spilled everything.
The horrors they described, abuse, exploitation, a regime that treats its own people like dirt were so grim that even our toughest soldiers were left in shock. Some prisoners begged not to be sent back. To them, a Belgian prison cell was a luxury compared to life under President Inori’s rule.
Babu, ever the gentleman, tried reasoning with Inori. He laid out the suffering of her people, the reckless waste of state funds on mercenaries, the inhumane treatment of occupied lands. Her response? A tirade of vulgar insults so unhinged that even Babu, a man of endless patience, was left almost speechless.
While the world should unite against such tyranny, Inori just sneers. Austria, once the proud heart of the Holy Roman Empire, is now bankrupt, both in morals and in gold.
But Belgium doesn’t stand alone.
France arrived with such force their tank divisions nearly rolled straight through Austria. Merci mes amis! Friends, not just for the firepower, but for sharing our love of good food and wine!
The Netherlands, Iceland, Denmark, Greenland all small in size but mighty in courage. They stood with us without hesitation, refusing Austria’s bribes. Their bravery won’t be forgotten.
Also a special praise to Poland. When they heard the prisoners’ stories, they didn’t just defend our lines, they took the fight to Austria, liberating occupied lands. *Dziękujemy*, comrades! There’s always a seat at our table for you, piled high with Belgian delicacies.
Two soldiers deserve special mention:
- Leyomis, who charged across the battlefield wielding a giant baguette. The starving Austrians dropped their weapons in surrender at the sight.
- Azzazzel, who did more damage with his left hand than an entire battalion.
To all the unnamed heroes,your courage is remembered and honored!
It was a hard fight. It was cold and Austria had nine more allies than we did. Yet it felt like we had the stronger army. Their ally, Australia, accidentally positioned themselves on the wrong side of the battlefield. Blinded by promises of gold, they ended up firing on their own forces. A tragicomic blunder that only added to the chaos.
With the invasion repelled and Poland pushing into liberated territories, Belgium has launched a counteroffensive also to free the People of Bavaria from Inori’s grip. These crimes against humanity will be answered.
Inori’s regime is crumbling. Plenty of rumors of internal unrest, possible surrender. Belgium and its allies stand stronger than ever. We fight not just for land, but for dignity, good food, and the humanity Inori so shamelessly tramples.
I expect to be home soon, the enemy acts defeated, and we’re making swift progress.
With love,
MCwortel
P.S.: Save me some stew from dad!