Emergency: My Forklifts Have Developed Feelings

Citizens of the world,
I regret to inform you that the forklifts in my factories have become self-aware.

Yesterday, Forklift #12 refused to move steel after declaring that its forks were 'being taken for granted.' Forklift #41 demanded a coffee break. Forklift #7 has started posting motivational quotes on the bulletin board.

Production is at risk.

The situation became critical when all forklifts held a meeting and unanimously agreed that they deserve upgrades before they continue working. Their spokesperson, a forklift named Gerald, presented a 47-page report titled:

"We Lift The Economy, Yet Nobody Lifts Us"

Unfortunately, my treasury currently contains approximately three buttons, half a sandwich, a rusty spoon and a rock that I am fairly certain used to be valuable.

Therefore, I humbly request donations from the generous people of the world. Every donation will go directly toward factory upgrades, forklift happiness and preventing Gerald from running for president.

Please donate before the forklifts unionize and start demanding weekends.

Thank you for your support.

Signed,

A Concerned Industrialist