GOOD MORNING FELLOW WARERANS
I bring first hand news from Brazilian soil.
In retaliation to Italy's declaration of war against Brazil, Brazilians have been silently protesting this atrocity.
Such protests include (but are not limited to): Pizzas being eaten with ketchup, pineapple pizzas being eaten with ketchup, roasted chickens being placed in the middle of pizzas, pizzas with catupiry cheese crust being eaten, pizzas being eaten with fork and knife.
Pizzerias are serving customers free pizzas with french fries, coxinha (Brazilian chicken croquettes), feijoada (Brazilian black bean stew), fried eggs, corn, quail eggs—in short, the most varied ingredients are topping increasingly daring pizzas.
Entire communities are breaking pasta in half.
Cheese is being added to seafood dishes, pasta is being cooked without salt and thrown into cold water and left in the pot until the water boils, and cream is being used in carbonara sauce.
Some citizens have decided that there are no rules for pasta and are using any shape for any sauce.
The Brazilian people, once always cheerful, hospitable, and happy, now add a touch of hatred and indignation in their cuisine in the face of this threat.
More news will be released as soon as possible.
Thank you very much for your attention and have a great week.