Five worst things about Denmark

Besides Denmark lacking the backbone to stand with its Nordic relatives in this game, there are quite a few things about our southern neighbors that deserve to be questioned.

Did you know Danish children learn to speak later than almost anyone else in the world? That’s because the language is so mushy that not even the Danes fully understand it themselves.

Danish food never really became an international success. Wonder why? Danish cuisine is perfect for someone who’s had a few too many beers, and never been in a kitchen before- which, to be fair, suits the average Dane perfectly.

All of Scandinavia makes fun of Denmark. So does Mother Nature. Yet the stubborn little Dane keeps cycling anyway, despite riding into a headwind from every possible direction. Keep on trying!

Danish beer is fantastic. Especially the local craft breweries. Does Denmark promote those? Of course not. Instead, they send Carlsberg out as their global ambassador. Danish beer or Danish juice?

Danes are incredibly chill. Maybe it’s the constant alcohol level in their bloodstream, or maybe they’re just so used to terrible weather that they’ve stopped trying to resist it. How Denmark even functions as a country remains one of Europe’s great mysteries.

//With love from your Nordic brother