Flying Furniture at the Dutch Embassy

There was exceptional chaos yesterday at the Dutch embassy in Helsinki when news of Finland’s latest negotiation result within the B.E.E.R. alliance reached the diplomatic corps.

According to eyewitnesses, the Dutch ambassador lost his temper after receiving confirmation that Finland intends to support its allies’ territorial claims, including in areas previously occupied by the Netherlands. After a brief but heated phone call, the ambassador slammed the receiver onto the desk, knocked his office chair over, and moved out onto the balcony.

People in neighboring buildings report having seen the ambassador throwing first an office chair, then a small coffee table, and finally an orange-colored decorative stool off the balcony – a gesture one witness described as “a symbolic collapse of diplomacy.”

The embassy has not yet issued an official comment on the incident, but according to corridor rumors, staff have received an internal memo urging them to “avoid placing loose furnishings near balconies until the situation in Europe calms down.”

Only a few weeks had passed since the previous incident, when the ambassador threatened to wreck his entire floor because he was not entirely sure whether he represented Netherlands or Belgium.

At that time, the crisis psychologist called to the scene had been forced to start the sessions by showing a map of Western Europe and slowly repeating: “This is the Netherlands, this is Belgium, you are here.”

According to sources, this did not fully calm the situation; instead, the ambassador reportedly demanded that the building’s lobby be divided into two zones – “a safe Dutch side” and “a suspicious Belgium-influenced area.”

National Truth and Communications Agency (VTV)