Citizens, Soldiers, and Rich People with too much money:
I bring you an update from your new Minister of Defense.
Yes, it is me. The guy who complained about the mud last week. The government saw my complaints and said, "This man knows mud. Let's put him in charge of the army."
The Situation Report
I have reviewed our military assets.
Tanks: 0
Planes: 0
Spirit of Freedom: High (but freedom does not stop bullets).
Economy: In the dirt. (Literally. I checked the treasury, there was a spider inside).
Why I Am Writing This
I was recently fired from my well-paid job (probably because I spent too much time writing articles). So now, I am an unemployed Minister of Defense.
I have the title, but I cannot afford a uniform. I am currently commanding our forces while wearing a cardboard box.
The "Freedom Fund"
We are collecting donations for WAR and FREEDOM.
We need to buy weapons to defend our glorious nation (and maybe get our dirt back from Spain).
Every donation you send will go towards:
Guns (Important).
Bread (Also important, soldiers are hungry).
A new shirt for the Minister (I am cold).
To Our Enemies:
Do not think we are weak just because we are broke. We have something money cannot buy: The audacity to ask for money.
DONATE TODAY!
Support the War Effort. Support Freedom. Support a Minister of Defense who has no idea what the "Attack" button actually does.
Signed,
Morocco's New Minister of Defense