Gavlan Herald Interviews German President Reggie: "We Were Planning to Give Jutland to Türkiye"

Gavlan Herald met with German President Reggie

BERLIN. Gavlan Herald sat down with President Reggie to discuss the rumors surrounding Sweden, the alleged plans for Denmark, and the rather unusual explanation for Germany's setbacks.

– I was compromised by a Danish woman, the President told.

Amid maps, war plans, and constant reports from the front, Germany’s President Reggie received Gavlan Herald for an exclusive interview.

The interview begins with a rumor that has been circulating across the alliance for quite some time.

There are reports that Germany has introduced the rule: 'No Swedish proposals after two beers.' Is that true?

– Definitely not. We banned Swedish proposals entirely. Want to know why? Send Will 10 DMs.

Are the reports true that you and Sweden want to divide Denmark in order to expand the Autobahn between your countries?

– Yes... but we were planning to give Jutland to Türkiye as well.

There appear to be ambitious plans for Denmark.

The president offers no further explanation before moving on to the next question.

"I'd call Gargamel immediately. You have to be prepared"

If Sweden were a vehicle in the alliance, what would it be?

– A spike strip. Perfect for all those Dutch bicycles.

When Gavlan Herald asks how she would react if the entire German Congress suddenly showed up dressed as little blue Smurfs, the president doesn't hesitate.

– I'd call Gargamel immediately. You have to be prepared.

Gavlan Herald's reporter, Gävleborg, interviews Reggie.

Toward the end of the interview, the questions become more serious. Despite being the alliance's largest member, Germany has still not managed to reclaim its own territory.

Are you avoiding the bureaucracy, or did you get lost during your military campaigns in Africa?

The president pauses for a moment before answering.

– I was compromised by a Danish woman.

No further explanation was given.

Gavlan Herald had prepared several follow-up questions about Germany and the FIFA World Cup, but chose not to ask them in order to preserve good relations with Germany at the moment.

//Gävleborg, Gavlan Herald.

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