My beloved readers, dear friends, dear world... and poles
today! is day of enormous national pride and also enormous amount of celebratory shouting.
The glorious region of Aktobe has been liberated from evil hands of the Polish.
For too long, brave Kazakh people suffered under confusing accents, suspicious but delicious sausages, and aggressive levels of easter european confidence.
But now… NO MORE!!!
The banners of Kazakhstan once again fly proudly over Aktobe.
The streets are filled with celebration.
All of Kazakhstan sings songs of freedom.
Even tractors make healthy and happy brum brum noise.
And I, Borat Sagdiyev, am proud to say I PERSONALLY contributed to this historic victory.
I bought guns. Not one, but two. And also an AK but it was too beautiful to be used in battle.
Oh, and also I bought bullets.
Many people say:
Borat, surely one man with a gun cannot liberate entire region.
And to those i say: Wrong!!!
Maybe my damage was not highest.
Maybe I accidentally shoot my cousin in the foot.
But my purchase created something far more powerful:
MORALE!!
When brave Kazakh warriors saw Borat on the field of battle, their spirits rise like glorious eagle over the steppe...
They say:
If Borat believe in victory enough, then victory is surely possible.
This inspiration carried our fighters forward with strength, courage, and disregard for their own (not mine) personal safety.
Today Aktobe is free.
Today Kazakhstan is stronger.
Today Polish influence has been pushed back into shadow from which it came.
Glory to Kazakhstan.
Greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls (except for our allies).
Thanks to our allies Russia, Turkmenistan, and ...I can't believe I say this, very thank you to all of Uzbekistan. Maybe you not so bad after all, and your women are pretty too.
Borat Sagdiyev
Founder and CEO of BORAT INDUSTRIES
Temporary Minister of Finincial Askings
Freedomfighter
Great success!