He Came, He Saw, He Brought German Beer to the Swedish Parliament

German candidate 3Dsus received more votes than anyone else in the Swedish congressional election. Sweden is still trying to figure out exactly what happened.

– Call it friendly consulting and pay me in cinnamon buns, the congressman says to Gavlan Herald.

STOCKHOLM. In a congressional election featuring a record number of candidates, one man managed to stand out from the crowd. Not a Swedish political veteran. Not a local political celebrity.

A German.

When the votes had been counted, it became clear that 3Dsus had received more votes than any other candidate in the entire election. Exactly how this happened remains the subject of debate, several investigations, and at least two conspiracy theories circulating on social media.

The Gavlan Herald sat down with the newly elected congressman in an attempt to understand the phenomenon.

Gavlan Herald reporter Gävleborg interviews Congressman 3Dsus, the most popular candidate in the election.

How does it feel to be more popular among Swedish voters than Swedish politicians?

– I don't think that's the case. I got the most votes, but in my opinion it's because Swedish voters wanted to grant me the opportunity to visit their Congress. I see it more as a warm welcome than anything else.

This is believed to be the first time in history that anyone has described an election victory as a guided tour.

Reports suggest you were shocked to discover that Swedish authorities occasionally use the word "lagom" as a management strategy. Is there any truth to that?

– Could you please explain? I think my translator does not translate this word correctly. It just says "exactly right".

Several Swedish political scientists are reportedly still recovering from the remark.

"Call it friendly consulting and pay me in cinnamon buns. If more than 30 percent of the seats went to foreign candidates, I would become nervous."

No swede could match Germany's 3Dsus in the swedish congressional election.

You received more votes than anyone else in the election. At what point do we officially start referring to this as a peaceful German invasion?

– Call it friendly consulting and pay me in cinnamon buns. If more than 30 percent of the seats went to foreign candidates, I would become nervous.

Swedish security services have yet to comment on the proposed 30-percent threshold.

"The German GEZ will send a bill to every Swede who took a beer."

We have received reports that you bought votes by handing out free beer in Sergels Torg in Stockholm. What is your response to those allegations?

– It was not free! The German GEZ will send a bill to every Swede who took a beer.

How exactly this would be enforced internationally remains unclear.

"If the demon called GO-K follows me, it must be a nightmare."

If Germany offered you free beer for the rest of your life in exchange for returning home, but Sweden offered you free meatballs and schnapps instead, which country would you choose?

– One hundred percent Sweden. Awesome deal. When do I get it?

The Ministry of Finance has not yet responded.

If you woke up tomorrow and discovered that every member of Congress had become German overnight, would that be your greatest success or your greatest fear?

– That's the reason I left Germany. If the demon called GO-K follows me, it must be a nightmare.

What exactly GO-K is never became entirely clear during the interview. The reporter did, however, note that 3Dsus appeared unusually serious for the first time during the conversation.

As the interview concluded, the congressman stood up, shook hands with the reporter, and disappeared into the chamber.

Behind him remained a room full of Swedish politicians attempting to process the fact that the most popular person in Sweden's Congress is currently a German who wishes to be compensated in cinnamon buns.

Election officials have confirmed the result.

Sweden has not yet fully recovered.

//Gävleborg, Gavlan Herald.

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