Make McAmerica Obese Again!
Ronald_Mcdonalds Letter to the Great peoples of America, a candidate to the upcoming congress elections of The United States Of America.
Dear McAmericans.. Some of you, already know me as a funny hehe haha clown and others, have only seen me on your TV commercials.
Either way, I am very proud to announce that I, Ronald Mcdonald officially am running in the congress elections of the United States of America.
This great country has been through a-lot of tribulations, but it has never stopped us from bouncing right back to glory and greatness.
Even though, today situation in our country is much more stable, there still are some underlying problems that I, hopefully as your future representative in the congress, would like to address.
Number One- Cost of living and obesity
Simply to put in perspective, There is not enough obesity in todays America!
you might be asking me... Ronald are you out of your fucking mind? B-b-but obesity bad! Stop! and think for a second.
How much money do you spend on food these days? Why are we not a massive empire yet?
ask yourself, are you okay with paying 1.8 dollars for a piece of bread? or 4 dollars a steak? or a whopping 7 dollars per some stinky salmon!!!
Listen kid, if i become your representative in the congress i promise to rebuild the great American industry, McDonalds on every corner of the street.
Big Mac alone gives you a whopping 30% back to you health! and fries with ketchup on the side? another 5%, big cup of coke? another 5%.
So you are getting a massive 40% worth of health boost for just 6.99$.
We the Americans used to be obese, and in turn, we were an unmatched global hegemony.
Number two - Canada Question
Look, I hear both sides of the argument, and the truth might be somewhere in between.
i can sympathize with the argument that Canada has no inherent strategic value to us, and that it would not be sound at all to conquer and subdue them.
But all i know is what recent polls in Canada have shown us. The top two fast food chains in Canada are as follows.
Burger King
Wendie's
This, to me, clearly shows that their strategic and geopolitical alignment does not match with our governments or peoples interests.
If i was to be elected as your representative i would make sure to alert congress and the president of this matter. Perhaps we don't have to go in the direction of war necessarily.
But a strong and clear diplomatic stance has to be achieved.
Other than that, I believe that our country is heading in the right direction and frankly, no matter our political alignments we should all try and work together to make this country a better place for all of us.
At the end of the day... We are all red blooded Americans working for a minimum wage (except for me lul).
