MoE'S Pet Hamster Accidentally orders 10 Billion Boxes of Claritin-D
Republic Announces Emergency Economic Opportunity
MANILA — The Ministry of Economy, https://app.warera.io/user/698bc8f6305278d08566c68f confirmed today that his pet hamster gained access to his phone during what veterinarians described as an "aggressive allergy episode."
Below is a picture of said Hamster:
While sneezing on the touchscreen and searching for a place to nap, the hamster accidentally ordered 10 billion boxes of CLARITIN-D.
Unfortunately, it also selected Amazon Prime Same-Day Drone Delivery.
Within hours, the skies above the Philippines darkened as millions of delivery drones arrived simultaneously. Military radar stations briefly mistook the incoming swarm for an invasion.
They were not enemy aircraft.
They were packages. Lots of packages.
Below is an inspired artists render of the said panic:
Government warehouses immediately reached capacity. Military bases reached capacity. One citizen reported receiving enough CLARITIN-D medicine and they will not be able to receive god's blessings for the next 4,000 years.
The incident has become even more significant after pharmaceutical experts suggested the medicine may contain a key ingredient used in the production of the Republic's famous combat pills, SHABU.
As investors rushed to verify the rumors, Philippine pharmaceutical stocks surged overnight.
Critics and conspiracy theorists have called out that said Hamster is an agent of the Pharmaceutical-Military Industrial Complex.
Industry leaders denied any conflict of interest while simultaneously opening three new pill factories.
The Ministry of Economy, https://app.warera.io/user/698bc8f6305278d08566c68f has launched a formal investigation. The hamster has denied all wrongdoing.
Instead, it may have accidentally created the greatest pharmaceutical investment opportunity in Philippine history.