My Accidental Burkina Faso Citizenship & The Great Proxy Tip Heist

Let’s get one thing straight: when I created my character on this server, I am positive I didn't select Burkina Faso. I have zero clue what laggy server glitch spawned me here, or what buttons I mashed during character creation, but waking up in this geographical mystery daily is wild. No disrespect to the homeland, but I’m pretty sure I accidentally hit "randomize" and got sent to the backrooms of the map.

The real problem isn't just the mystery, though it’s my bank account. People in the comments are flat-out refusing to tip my articles because Burkina Faso is apparently a proxy state for Portugal, and everyone is currently boycotting anything remotely associated with it. Look, I don't mind the government doing its weird political dance; y'all can run whatever proxy schemes you want for all I care. But the moment your geopolitical beef starts messing with my money and draining my tip jar? That crosses the line!

​So, since my accidental zip code is blocking my bag, I’ve got two choices. Option one: I run for President. I love money way too much to pretend otherwise, and if I win, I promise you.

I’ll be the most shamelessly corrupt, bribe-loving tyrant this game has ever seen. I'll embezzle the treasury just to cut those Portugal proxy strings once and for all.

Option two: Is there any country on this map willing to take in a confused refugee? Please send me a visa application. I just want a zip code where people's tips aren't held hostage by proxy drama!