My first hour: Portugal

One fated evening, whilst browsing redding, perhaps gooning, perhaps not, i stumbled upon a post on an unfamiliar subreddit. WARERAPT

A recruitment advert to serve my country in a little online wargame.

2300 WET

I signed up to war era and was flodded with new info. Unfamiliar game. A big map that was also, completely unfamiliar. Lithuania spanned all the way to the Russian Far East. Poland was the longest country i'd ever seen, perhaps even the longest thing i've ever seen.
Portugal was nowhere to be seen.

I looked around, and pomme frite had replaced my bifanas.

The atom monument replaced my beloved tower de belem.

Worse of all, the fucking moules had replaced my percebes, understand?

I had nothing.

0000 WET

I got a knife and a vest with holes in it from a random box that dropped from the sky. And thats when i heard it. The trees were speaking French, then Flemish then whatever the fuck the other one is. I hid.

"Hon hon, something something Dikkenek, something something brol" Their barbaric languages echoing in my homeland, at an ever increasing distance. I sat in a puddle of my own making, when suddenly, a hand reached down, not a sign of bad luck. But a sign of hope.