July 18, 2026
Researchers have confirmed that a local man spent three hours searching for the best method to complete a task that would've taken ten minutes.
According to reports, he watched:
12 YouTube videos.
4 productivity podcasts.
19 Reddit threads.
7 AI responses.
He then created:
A roadmap.
A backup roadmap.
A color-coded roadmap for the backup roadmap.
The task remains untouched.
Experts have officially named this condition:
Productive Procrastination.
The patient insists he'll begin "once everything is perfectly planned."
Authorities have scheduled his recovery...
...for tomorrow.
This has been NFU. News For Unemployed.