Researchers have officially confirmed that the phrase "I'll watch just one more video before working" has no measurable connection to reality.
The study followed thousands of volunteers who opened social media for a "2-minute break."
Results showed the average participant emerged 47 minutes later with:
Zero tasks completed.
Three conspiracy theories.
A recipe they'll never cook.
An overwhelming urge to reorganize their desk instead of working.
Experts have classified the condition as Digital Productivity Theater, where the brain mistakes consuming productivity content for actually being productive.
Authorities have advised citizens to close the app immediately.
Most agreed.
Right after one more video.
This has been NFU. News For Unemployed.