Official press release from the ministry of Mali

Listen up, map. Our president has officially gone AFK due to some tragically boring real-life obligations. Rumor has it he actually has to interact with human beings and do chores instead of grinding War Era. Because of this sudden outbreak of touching grass, early elections are triggered and the government is getting a complete face-lift.

Enter the acting boss (and the cabinet roulette)

While the new acting president is locked in his room trying to figure out how to announce his new cabinet without causing a riot, let’s address the elephant in the room: my diplomatic fate.

Am I the old mofa, the future mofa, or just a rogue agent waiting for the next deployment? The acting boss is currently shuffling his deck of cards, and nobody knows yet who is getting which post. I might get renewed, I might get reshuffled, or I might just run the entire department from the shadows while eating an piece of bread with delinut duo choco from the ALDI. Either way, the ministry is in safe hands, and the diplomatic channel remains fully operational while we wait for the official white smoke.

The mercenary guarantee: we only care about gold

To all our allies, client states, and anyone currently paying us to flatten their neighbors, listen closely to the only rules that actually matter in Mali:

* All active contracts will be executed with maximum violence and zero delays. The treasury is locked, the gold is safe, and your hits will be delivered exactly on time.

* Our friends are still our friends. If we liked you yesterday, we still like you today.

We are just reshuffling the meat shields at the top. The business model remains exactly the same: you pay, we destroy.