OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM THE AFRO-ICELANDIC REPUBLIC
Office of the President
— of the —
Central African Afro-Icelandic Republic
OFFICIAL STATEMENT
Reykjavík-sur-Ubangi — Last week this office clarified our custody arrangement for the record. Those needing context may consult it here: https://app.warera.io/article/6a596755e16a6003153adae1
As we explained before, on the last Sunday of each month, this Republic selects the nation for whom it will serve as proxy protectorate by means of the Wheel of Fortunate Nations.
The Wheel of Fortunate Nations
That spin is this upcoming Sunday.
I am writing to announce that placement upon the Wheel is no longer automatic. To place your nation on the rim, one citizen must step forward as its representative and do one of three of the following on its behalf. Thereafter, any citizen of that nation may add to its standing, and every additional tip prints another wedge.
Comment. State, in writing, what your nation intends to do with us, and why it has earned the privilege. Pakistan entered the weekend rotation this month on a written submission alone. The persuasive are read aloud on Saturday and painted onto the rim by my own hand.
Tip. Each tip from a citizen prints one wedge. A nation whose citizens turn out in number occupies the rim in proportion, and is likelier, by the plain arithmetic of a wheel, to inherit us. There is no ceiling. A sufficiently motivated populace may cover enough of the rim that its selection becomes a formality.
Subscribe. This confers no wedge and alters no odds. The subscriber receives only advance notice of each spin, that they might witness in real time the nation to which we are assigned. We offer it as a courtesy to the sentimental, and to those who wish to be present for the result rather than merely informed of it after the fact.
Tipping does not guarantee selection. The Wheel selects. This office merely decides whose names it is permitted to bear, and in what quantity.
The standing exception holds. Our own wedge remains on the rim, and on the rare spin that lands upon it we are permitted to consider ourselves independent.
We wish the nations of the world good fortune, and ourselves to whoever earns us.
By the hand of Colonel Muammar Marius Rogér al-Fortier,
President of the Central Afro-Icelandic Republic