Faithful of the realm,
The time has come.
Darkness rises in the east — Romanian vampires crawl from their castles, defying God, sunlight, and basic decency. This is no petty war of nations. This is a holy war of Good versus Evil.
The Vatican hereby declares a Crusade.
We stand with South Africa — not as allies, not as politicians, but as instruments of divine judgment. Where mortal armies march, the forces of Heaven shall follow.
By divine authority, MadamGoth is anointed
🕊️ Supreme Commander of the Armies of Heaven 🕊️
Chosen to direct angels, crusaders, and anyone who can still afford armor.
All who are able must take up arms and join the Crusade.
Those who cannot fight are reminded of their sacred financial obligations.
💰 Gold buys swords
💰 Gold buys blessings
💰 Gold buys forgiveness for not showing up
Let it be known:
Fighters earn glory
Donors earn absolution
Refusers earn… prayers (brief ones)
If you lack troops, send coin.
If you lack coin, send more coin.
If you lack both, the Church suggests reflection… and taxation.
Give generously, for Heaven is watching —
and the Vatican treasury is disappointingly empty.
The Crusade marches.
Evil will be purged.
Receipts will be issued.
Amen 😇💸⚔️