Recruitment and funding announcement for the "Laughter Battalion"

Why do we need your donations? Dear citizens, I've finally decided to build my own private military unit, not to conquer the world (for now). But I need an army to feed me when I decide to order pizza in the middle of the night, or when I need someone to defend the opinion that instant noodles are a healthy meal. Building armies is expensive; tanks are costly, and elegant uniforms get dirty quickly. And your commander (me) needs a very comfortable platform to issue tough orders. ✨

Where will the money go?

30% to buy weapons of mass destruction (water pistols, rubber slingshots).

40% for "trench" supplies (chips, nuts, and soft drinks).

20% for the conscript's uniform (I have to look good in the enlistment photos).

10% emergency reserve in case the neighbor decides to file a complaint about the noise.