A Chairde,
You know him, you love him. Everyones favourite guy around, Revan here who totally didn't forget to make a post announcing that he was running for President (again). You know me as the Minister of Mayhem, the longest running in such a position in all of the roles creation.
You know me as the peak shit-poster. You know me as the most active member of this community currently. You know me as the singular most unhinged creature to every crawl about the glorious county of Kerry on two legs. (Fati crawls on all fours)
What you may not know about me, is how surprisingly adept I am at this whole politics thing. As my current and previous fellow congressmen will begrudgingly tell you all, there are few others who get so invested in each ruling. Fewer still are unapologetically stalwart in their dedication to ensuring each congressional outcome is what ends up serving the people the best, even if it causes issues and arguments, of which I will never shy away from.
Previously, I have entertained the idea of becoming President with humour and 'for the craic'. I am here to tell you that this has absolutely not changed in the slightest. Regardless of my position, regardless of my responsibilities, I will always prioritise having the craic. I will always prioritise ensuring everyone involved in this community has the craic. And I realise this can be done if I, for the first time, decide to take this election shite seriously.
And so, here I am. RevanEire, the Presidential Candidate for the UPI, as voted for by its members.
Cough, by default...cough cough
Many believe the days of the United Party of Ireland have long since passed by. That our goals have been achieved. Many believe that time has passed the UPI- Irelands' greatest ever Political Party by with the ousting of the Racist scum. I am here to announce to the world, the UPI is far from finished. This is merely the beginning of a new chapter.
So, What can you expect from a Revan presidency, might you ask?
Lots of things. Promise. Engagement is down. We're backed into a corner. It seems the only way out for many is to fight. It's one or the other. PeaceEra, or WarEra.
Both continued stability and peace, and unrelenting warfare and battle sound good in theory. But what happens to PeaceEra when another 20 citizens drop off the map? What happens to WarEra where we're beaten into financial ruin and obscurity by pissed off groups, which ruin Ireland's great standing and reputation?
The UPI is not the party of absolutes. The UPI is the Power of freedoms, choices, and democracy. The choices we make at the highest level, are driven with the focused goal of engagement and craic. But doing do in a careful equilibrium of Political masterclass, and overwhelming force in a delicate balance.
So, when someone asks us, what does the UPI stand for now? What is the goal of the UPI?
It's simple. The UPI is the party of Balance. Of Intelligence and Strength in equal measure. Our goals are simple. Retain the North on a permanent basis. Forge intelligent alliances. Blaze a trail forth for Ireland that will lead to glory. And to do all of these things together.
UNITED
What campaign promises will I make? Ruh ruh raggy, they're beginning to ask questions.
If I am elected, my ultimate promise is that once my Presidency is at its conclusion, I will be impeached. Why? Because that would be really fucking funny, that's why.
Minister of Fun. Remember that? Look, we've got a brilliant community. Some children. (Keon.)
Some fucking ancient. Maester. But at the end of the day, we all want whats best for Ireland. So what better celebration of our collective love for this country than to engage each other in some CRAIC?! The Minister of Fun position will be a new position that we totally didn't steal off the Germans in order to boost engagement within the server and encourage increased socialisation. This could be things as simple as a fantasy Premier League season, to a Video Game Night, to as complex as a Karaoke competition which only I will win and nobody else is allowed or you get exiled.... And other fun stuff. Participation mandatory.
The creation of the Cyberpunk Department. Not sure why I elected on a whim to call it the Cyberpunk Department, alas that is what it is.
Since the death of toie, (rest in peace sweet prince.) and the unfortunate situation of r00ted, we at the UPI believe we have found ourselves lacking regarding innovation of new tools to assist new players and old alike. There are too many different avenues for tools and assistance scattered all across the discord server.
No more can this be the case. With the assistance of the ever brilliant @Shmoke_n_Shniff who has agreed upon my election to become the Minister of Cyberspace, we shall condense and compact all of the necessary tools and information into an effective 'one stop shop', so that no more confusion can be had. Shmoke has been given the agency to create a team to assist him in his endeavours beyond simple renewal of tools and general maintenance, with new bots, updates and engagements with social media bots within the discord, etc all prospective ideas we have had.
These unwilling slaves completely willing participants shall assist Shmoke in ensuring Ireland's tools are secure and built for purpose.
Recruitment.
I have made this suggestion time and time and time again only for nothing to be done about it, so now is the time we do something about it. Should I be elected President of Ireland, we shall kick the arse off of Keon to go visit the Games of Ireland discord and other Irish gamer adjacent discord servers in order to directly boost the population of the game through the medium of an app we all share.
We at the UPI believe it is far easier to convince someone on discord to try a game out then it is on social media to download both the game and the app used to communicate with one another regarding orders and general conversation about said game. This way, we only need to convince willing gamers dedicated to the Irish cause to download an app and join in on the fun.
Smarten up the discord a bit more.
There are too many important things simply hiding about in deep threads and posts. Too many to keep track of at least. One (me) often finds themselves digging into multiple different threads in order to find the appropriate conversation to refer back to. This will be a job forced upon the Stewards, preferably in chains to figure out. However, my biggest pet peeve of all, is the Irish trade channel which rarely sees use.
I shall propose a discord channel dedicated to those with the role to engage in trades and Irish focused interconnected economical transactions. BUY IRISH PEOPLE! BUY FUCKING IRISH! The current posts idea works only because I BUY EVERYTHING! I AM THE ONLY MF WHO BUYS SHIT FROM THERE! THERE IS SO MUCH GOLD BEING LOST BECAUSE WE BUY FROM THE FUCKING LITHUANIANS! STOPPPPP
It iz de historie of Ireland!
After discussion with Shmoke, Prop, tdawgyo and Dkav, I felt it imperative after reading the brief yet insightful document sent to me by Shmoke regarding Ireland's history that there must be a new position, dedicated to writing the history of Ireland and its citizens in detail, for now, and evermore. The Book of Kells shall be its name, and each Generation shall have its chapter. It shall be a history for all newcomers to gaze upon in wonder, and all veterans to look back on in fondness, but mostly in a sense of 'lads what the fuck were we at here like?'. I see the Fati has also committed to this as an important campaign promise. Regardless of our positions politically, we can all agree that the history of Ireland must be writ by all members across all parties and backgrounds. This can not simply be one individual promising it. It is a promise to be made by us all to the people of Ireland unanimously.
Finally, and most importantly of all, the issue of the North.
I'll say it simply so there's no confusion. The North will remain Green. By any means necessary.
Thank you all for reading. Vote for Revan!
-RevanEire, Ireland's Minister of Mayhem.