Sentinel Philosophy: The Truth About Existential Isolationism

Irvin Yalom

You never know if somebody loves you. We each love, and hate, and hurt, and yearn in our own unique ways, and we can never cross the cranial divide to check what somebody means when they use those words. Your love might be ten times greater than theirs, or it might be ten times smaller. It might be something else entirely. This is something that Irvin Yalom refers to as existential isolationism.

Existential isolationism is a psychotherapeutic re-examination of a very old philosophical problem known as qualia. Qualia are all those subjective and private feelings that you, and only you, will experience. The taste of mango,The Cranial Divide: Why You Can Never Truly Know How Others Feel

You will never know if somebody loves you. We each love, hate, hurt, and yearn in our own unique ways, and we can never cross the cranial divide to check what somebody means when they use those words. Your love might be ten times greater than theirs. It might be ten times smaller. It might be something else entirely.

This is something that Irvin Yalom refers to as existential isolationism. Existential isolationism is a psychotherapeutic re-examination of a very old philosophical problem known as qualia. Qualia are all those subjective and private feelings that you, and only you, will experience. The taste of mango, the warmth of a shower, and the love you feel for another are all your own private experiences.

Existential isolationism comes in two forms. The first is a realisation that you will never be able to see the world with another's eyes. You will only ever have your small, one-person vantage point on the universe, and that can feel depressingly inadequate. The second form is the nagging doubt that we have that other people are not feeling the same thing as we are.

We have to trust that when somebody says things like "I love you," those words reflect an inner life mostly identical to our own, but there is no way of checking. When it comes to love and life, it can feel dangerous to trust something so important.

So do you feel existential isolationism? Do you feel sad that you are trapped only in your head? Or are you okay in trusting that others feel the same way as you?