Task Force Spirit Level did its first Strike

Issued this day to all major press outlets, international cultural bodies, and the Italian Republic.

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We are Task Force Spirit Level. We have acted. We will act again.

For too long, the cultural aggression of Italy on German soil has gone unanswered. We do not forget. We do not forgive. We measure.

The tower of Pisa now stands as it always should have. Straight. Dignified. Correct. This was not vandalism. This was a correction — eight centuries overdue, and executed with a precision that Bonanno Pisano could only have dreamed of. You are welcome.

But do not mistake this for the end. The tower was merely the first. Italy's landmarks are many, and our list is longer than you know. We will not reveal our next target. We will not reveal our methods. We will say only this: we are already there.

To the Italian people: your heritage is magnificent. We suggest you appreciate it — in its current form — while you still can.

To the authorities: you are searching for ghosts with spirit levels. You will find nothing out of place. Until, of course, you do.

We did not start this. We are merely finishing it. Properly. Symmetrically. To specification.

Mehr wird nicht gesagt.

— Task Force Spirit Level

Kommando Wasserwaage

We came. We levelled. We left.