The Kingdom of Belgium has been left with no choice but to launch a Special Military Operation in France.
For decades, millions of Flemish people have been living just across the border in the territories of Nord–Pas-de-Calais, where they have been forced to endure the unbearable situation of being French.
Belgium can no longer stand idly by.
Our intelligence services have confirmed that people in Dunkirk, Lille and the surrounding areas have been heard saying things such as:
“Bonjour.”
This is clearly unacceptable.
Furthermore, there have been disturbing reports of Flemish cultural heritage being exposed to dangerous quantities of baguette, French bureaucracy, and potentially irreversible exposure to the French language.
Belgium therefore has a solemn responsibility to protect our Flemish brothers and sisters.
Belgium does not seek territory.
We merely seek to:
Protect Flemish-speaking populations.
Restore historical Flemish dignity.
Ensure the availability of proper Belgian beer.
Prevent further Frenchification of Flemish citizens.
Liberate Lille from the tyranny of having to pronounce everything in French.
Establish a temporary Belgian security zone extending approximately to... well... the Atlantic Ocean, apparently.
Once these objectives have been achieved, Belgian forces will of course withdraw.
Probably.
France has nothing to fear.
This is not an invasion.
It is a limited humanitarian liberation operation conducted exclusively for the protection of people who happen to speak Dutch and live suspiciously close to Belgium.
Belgium has no interest in occupying Northern France.
We simply believe that Northern France would be significantly safer, freer and objectively better administered under Belgian supervision.
God save Belgium.
God save Flanders.
And God help Lille.