The Great Mozambique Escape: This One Is Finally Home!

One month. Ten holidaymakers. Several governments. Far too many crabs.

It has finally happened.

After what was advertised as a relaxing, all-expenses-paid holiday to the beautiful beaches of https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af15db, this one has finally returned home to https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af1612.

What a month it has been.

This one arrived expecting sunshine, cocktails, sandy beaches, and perhaps a nice afternoon nap beneath a palm tree.

This one would still like to speak to the travel agent.

A Holiday to Remember. Unfortunately.

Thirty days.

Thirty glorious days of sand, sunshine, political instability, and financial irresponsibility.

And now that this one is finally home, the full extent of the damage is becoming apparent.

There is sand in places where sand should never be.

The credit card statement has arrived, but this one has decided that opening it would be detrimental to his mental well-being.

Several official government documents have somehow made their way into his luggage.

And, of course, there are the crabs.

Yes. The crabs came home too.

What began as a few friendly beach companions has somehow developed into a fully operational military force, complete with regiments, questionable leadership structures, and an alarming enthusiasm for territorial expansion.

The Scarlet Pinchers have established a perimeter around the house.

The Moonlit Pinchers have claimed the garden.

The Tide Builders are constructing something in the backyard that this one is afraid to investigate.

And the Elite Baking Unit has already raided the kitchen.

This one is beginning to suspect that bringing them home may have been a mistake.

https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af1612 was not prepared for their arrival.

Neither was this one.

GREEN IS ON TOP! VICTORY AT LAST!

However, before closing the book on this extraordinary adventure, there is one final matter of great importance.

THE FLAG HAS BEEN FIXED!

The latest update has arrived.

And there it is.

GREEN. IS. ON. TOP.

This one can scarcely believe his eyes.

The https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af15db flag finally looks like the Mozambique flag!

After all the peaceful demonstrations, passionate speeches, and this one standing on a beach holding a sign demanding that green be returned to its rightful position...

Victory!

The protesters may lower their signs.

The beach umbrellas may be folded away.

The Ministry of Foreign Affairs can finally close its most important diplomatic investigation.

Our mission is complete.

This one would like to thank everyone who stood beside him in this historic struggle for correct colour placement.

Together, we have achieved what many thought impossible.

We got someone to fix something.

One Small Matter Remains...

Of course, no victory is ever truly complete.

Now that the flag has been corrected, this one has noticed another pressing issue.

The AK-47 still needs to look like an AK-47.

This one does not wish to be unreasonable.

We have only just finished one international campaign.

But surely, having successfully negotiated the correct order of three horizontal stripes, we can now turn our attention to making a rifle resemble the rifle it is supposed to be?

One diplomatic crisis at a time, apparently.

This one has only just unpacked his protest signs.

Please do not make him get them out again.

Home Sweet Home

There is something truly wonderful about being back in https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af1612.

The familiar surroundings.

The familiar faces.

The familiar sound of someone desperately requesting damage in a battle that started five minutes ago.

Ah, home.

This one had almost forgotten what it felt like.

A whole month of sandcastles, government meetings, and diplomatic correspondence has left this one's trigger finger terribly itchy.

The rifle has been cleaned.

The scope has been polished.

The ammunition has been unpacked.

And the crabs have been informed that friendly fire is generally discouraged.

After a month of being a politician, a diplomat, a war financier, and an unwilling beach resort resident...

This one is ready to be a sniper again.

No more invoices for concrete.

No more unexpected government appointments.

No more diplomatic incidents involving coloured stripes.

Just this one, his rifle, and the comforting sound of gunfire.

Well...

And an army of crabs.

Apparently they have decided to enlist.

https://app.warera.io/user/68e538c09c4aafa6f1a0bd5c

"This one's vacation is over. The crabs are now South Africa's problem."