The Nappy, The Revolt, and Retirement

Citizens of https://app.warera.io/country/683ddd2c24b5a2e114af1612,

This one had intended for a quiet evening.

A peaceful evening.

An evening involving sleep.

Instead, at approximately 3AM, this one was awakened by two simultaneous emergencies.

The first was a full nappy.

The second was a revolt in Zimbabwe.

As many parents will understand, the first emergency demanded immediate attention.

Only after the situation had been successfully stabilized did this one turn attention toward the second crisis.

Upon investigation, the situation became increasingly confusing.

Reports indicated that a former President of South Africahttps://app.warera.io/user/6918b32fcc751d7f455d1f17, currently present in Zimbabwe on what had originally been described as a diplomatic mission, had somehow become involved in launching a revolt.

Further reports indicated support from two South African military unitshttps://app.warera.io/mu/694ce4f14bff8f86caa9e8e2 and https://app.warera.io/mu/697c36a365279cff33d5e640.

At this point, this one checked the time again in the hope that exhaustion had somehow caused a misunderstanding.

Unfortunately, the reports remained exactly the same.

The result was the rapid emergence of what could only be described as a de facto civil war.

What particularly impressed this one was the timing.

The operation appeared to have been launched under the reasonable assumption that most of the South African Government would be asleep.

This assessment was entirely correct.

What the planners failed to account for, however, was one critical factor:

Newborns do not recognize normal sleeping schedules.

As a result, this one happened to be awake anyway.

History may one day record that a major political crisis was discovered because a child refused to sleep.

After receiving the reports, this one took the necessary immediate actions.

Bounties were authorized.

Mercenary forces were contacted.

Messages were sent.

Several very confused people were awakened.

And then, as dawn approached, this one found a moment to reflect.

Over the past months, this one has served as Congressman, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Vice President, economic apprentice to a mysterious Uzbek laptop, explorer of Australia, commander of D.U.M.A, and, somehow, Cat King of Uzbekistan.

There have been victories.

There have been defeats.

There have been revolts, vampires, emus, legislative incidents, and more transfer laws than this one cares to remember.

But through all of it, the greatest joy this one has found has been family.

Therefore, with this final act completed, this one formally announces retirement from Congress and from political life.

The time has come to focus on family.

To explore the world.

To discover new adventures.

To chase trade opportunities that make no sense.

To meet strange people in stranger places.

And perhaps, most importantly, to help make life fun again.

This one leaves politics with gratitude for the friendships made, the lessons learned, and the many citizens who shared in this remarkable journey.

To South Africa:
Thank you.

To the Government:
Good luck.

To whoever is handling the next emergency:
This one wishes you strength.

May the roads remain open.
May the caravans travel safely.
And may your emergencies never arrive at 3AM.

– https://app.warera.io/user/68e538c09c4aafa6f1a0bd5c