Let’s take a moment of silence for Iran in Warera—a nation that just executed the most legendary geopolitical fail of the decade.
It all started like a tragic backstory. Iran was completely occupied, carved up like a Sunday roast, with Kyrgyzstan wearing the captain’s hat. But against all odds, Iran fought back! They liberated their homeland, reclaimed their provinces, and were 99% whole again...
Except for Khorasan, which Kyrgyzstan casually kept as a souvenir.
Now, if you are a normal player with 2 grams of strategic thinking, your first task is obvious: "Hey guys, let's go free Khorasan!"
Iran’s high command looked at Khorasan, looked at the map, and said:
"Nah, Khorasan is boring. Let's conquer EUROPE instead!" 🧠💡 (Because why fix your back door when you can break into your neighbor’s mansion?)
What followed was pure, unadulterated fever-dream imperialism. Iran went on a reckless rampage—steamrolling through Iraq, bulldozing Turkey, crushing Greece, and casually setting up camp in Bulgaria and Serbia! For two days, everyone was sweating. We thought Cyrus the Great was revived. We thought the Achaemenid Empire was back with a vengeance.
Turns out... it was just a massive balloon waiting for a very big needle. 🎈📌
Enter Egypt—the absolute gigachad powerhouse of the Middle East. Egypt took one look at this overextended, greedy empire and said: "Not on my watch."
What happened next was a speedrun collapse for the history books:
Iraq & Turkey: Woke up, realized Iran forgot to leave troops behind, and kicked them out faster than a bad trade offer. 👢
The Greek Miracle: Greece—a country so inactive its entire player base was basically in a medically induced coma—SUDDENLY WOKE UP, rubbed their eyes, and yeeted Iran back into the Mediterranean! 🏛️💤
The European Eviction: Serbia and Bulgaria politely (and violently) showed Iran the exit door.
The Current Situation:
Iran was kicked out of Europe, lost all its conquests, and retreated all the way back home... only to realize that Kyrgyzstan is STILL sitting in Khorasan, sipping tea! ☕🇱🇾
Moral of the Warera story:
Before you try to flex on Europe and invade Athens, maybe make sure your eastern province isn't being run by Kyrgyz border guards! 🤡🛡️