TLN Exclusive - LIVE FROM Ghent: Presidential Elections Results
by JacqueDeBalsac
Hello there, citizens of this little hellhole we call home! JacqueDeBalsac here, keeping my monocle "preuper" and my Pikrofoon ready for the juicy bits.
🎩 THE LATEST NEWS: A New Queen for Den Belziek!
Mes amis, the circus has left town, but the clowns... ah, they stay ! The votes are in, and we have a new Opperbelg to rule over our chaotic lives.
No, it's not https://app.warera.io/user/6953fbf4ee2779e168e5a460 , but no one else than our beloved: https://app.warera.io/user/691cd68b92948e91cb5d9768!
That’s right, Lady-9000 herself is taking the throne. She is succeeding https://app.warera.io/user/69473e14ea286bea1b3f3cc2, her fellow comrade from the https://app.warera.io/party/698f5265ac74a73e88d83ff4 . It seems the MRW has a tighter grip on the steering wheel than Gianna Michaels on a black lamppost.
Fun fact for you history buffs: nicol is officially our nation’s second female President. Amai, progress! Or just more of the same with a different perfume? You decide.
The Bloody Numbers
The elections were divided nicely, like a pizza cut by someone who’s had too much Duvel. Looking at you https://app.warera.io/user/691d7aefc66380bdd827820f.
However, special shoutout to https://app.warera.io/user/69772cc881af219a707489ab, who decided to post his application at the very last microsecond with absolutely zero campaigning. The result? Well, let’s just say it went as expected. C'est la vie, Rex!
nicol: 79 Votes
Smoove: 13 Votes
De_Nederbelg: 21 Votes
Silvergerma: 14 Votes
Rex_Ferrum: 3 Votes
The Continuation of the State Gazette
With https://app.warera.io/user/6914ff45cdf57cd0c13144f8 rising the ranks from "Reporter-Mediocre" to Vice President , https://app.warera.io/user/695a8673b00a4dc3ab275282 will be taking over the pen and typewriter to bring our nation the necessary propaganda. TLN wonders if this time they'll remember our grants and subsidies. Best of luck to Booger!
Ligitimacy of the Elections
Hackerman https://app.warera.io/user/69775cc6434a5842e09e19d3 got caught whilst in the voting booth, trying to manipulate the system. He was able to cast his vote multiple times, essentially rigging the elections. No further comments have been made by the previous or current administratino.
🎤 Jacque’s Private Rendez-Vous
Wishing the new elected President the best of luck. You’ll need it to keep your grip over den-toog and it's inhabitants. I'll be sending you a box of chocolates to celebrate your victory.
I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of you losers... I mean, candidates... push for a place in Congress.
LISTEN UP, aspiring Congress members!
If you want to survive my "fine and deep" research, contact me on Discord for a one-on-one BEFORE you submit your application. I only conduct my most... thorough... interviews with those who allow me a private rendez-vous.
Bring your secrets, bring your scandals, and maybe a bottle of something strong.
My Pikrofoon is waiting. Salut en de kost, and try not to get banned before the weekend like https://app.warera.io/user/69b02f757972e334e378c42f!
Previous Issues
https://app.warera.io/article/69ccd53769f594e7bbae9b10
https://app.warera.io/article/69a9c3496108b65cd2f545a5
https://app.warera.io/article/69a4777c4fba35f9620abf58
https://app.warera.io/article/69a0813f9b0d509beacb05a3
https://app.warera.io/article/699a37de438a57a89434f2d4
https://app.warera.io/article/698b79cdebfe47038b3ed720
https://app.warera.io/article/6988533183abb89c3e543500
Exclusives
https://app.warera.io/article/69b46aaca1dcb288ab2be3e5
https://app.warera.io/article/69a744c9df5814a035528691
https://app.warera.io/article/69a2dcbd755dd7a8e2183b7e
https://app.warera.io/article/69975daf3a840e91d8420713
https://app.warera.io/article/698c4b370a1674d47df88513
Hit that Like and Subscribe button like it’s a red button in a war room! Oh by the way, tips are the only thing that keeps us motivated — and the only thing that pays for my multiple addictions.
— JacqueDeBalsac Reporter Extraordinaire & Voice of the People