To Our Enemies: Please Do Not Attack Us on July 14th it's Bastille day

La gazette des tranchées

"Le seul journal où la liberté de la presse est garantie par l'armée"

"The only newspaper where press freedom guaranteed by the army"

Dear Enemies, Frenemies, and Anyone Who Has Ever Wanted to Invade France,

We are writing to you today with a humble request: Do not invade us on July 14th. We know it is tempting. Our soldiers are busy marching in parades. Our politicians are busy giving speeches. And our citizens are busy eating, drinking, and debating whether the monarchy was actually better.

But here is the thing: We are celebrating the day we decided that kings were overrated and that freedom was worth a try. We are celebrating the fact that we have managed to survive centuries of wars, revolutions, and our own questionable decisions.

So please do not attack us on July 14th. We are not in the mood. We are in the mood to celebrate. We are in the mood to sing La Marseillaise at the top of our lungs even if we do not remember all the words. We are in the mood to watch fireworks and pretend we are not secretly terrified of them.

But if you must be here on July 14th if you simply cannot resist the urge to visit us on our special day then we have a better idea Come join us. Leave your flags at home but wrap yourself in the three most beautiful colors on earth blue white and red. We will provide the wine the debates about monarchy vs republic and the occasional historical reenactment.

We promise there will be no hard feelings. We will not mention that time you invaded us. We will not bring up the fact that we lost or that we won. We will simply raise a glass and toast to the fact that we are all still here and still not entirely sure how we got here.

So please do not attack us on July 14th. But if you are in the neighborhood stop by. We will save you a seat at the parade and a spot in the monarchy vs republic debate.

With revolutionary regards and a slightly tipsy salute from France.

Votre serviteur :

Thoms