⚡️A Message From Your Favorite Candidate⚡️
🎉 Ladies, gentlemen, and citizens of our glorious republic the elections are back! 🎊
Now, you'll notice there's a second candidate on the ballot this time.:POGGERS:
Adorable. :Nono: Truly. We love the enthusiasm.
But let me explain something very important: it doesn't matter who you vote for. :4Evil:
You see, I am the Chief Treasurer of Lebanon. Every coin 🪙, every gem 💎, every last lira it all lives with me. So even if you elect Mint, congratulations… you've elected me.
Because he'll be calling me by Tuesday asking for the vault password. 🔐😎
I am, and have always been, your one and only Sugar Daddy of the State.
But! For the sake of legal appearances… , here's my platform:
🌯 Shawarma will be FREE. Again. Because I love you. 💕
📈 Taxes will rise from 11% to 99%. Think about it: if the food is free, what do you even need money for? Checkmate, economists.
⚡ Electricity will be shut off… , sorry, because I need it for my 347 personal villas. 🏰🏰🏰 Look, someone has to keep the chandeliers on, and that someone is me. Your candles will build character. 🕯️😌
✅ So this election, remember: ✅
🕊️ Democracy is alive. 🗳️ Your vote matters.
(It doesn't. The gems are already mine.)
Vote with confidence. Vote with joy. Vote however you like, I'll see the results from villa number 212.🥂