Vodka vs. Kebab

Hey hey people, Comrade Sseth here.

I'll be serious for once, champs. I normally don't give a flying shit about wars. They're against my neutral and permanently horny nature. But one particular conflict caught my attention like a Discord moderator smelling an unshowered girl within a 50 km radius. I simply couldn't resist:

You see, last month I wanted to visit Turkey for my scheduled monthly chest hair transplant. But to my surprise, Central Anatolia was absolutely crawling with Eastern Europeans and the average World of Tanks players.

Now, some people enjoy having a Soviet apartment block outside their window and exotic Slavic singles on their dating apps:

Me? I prefer my kebab without vodka.

Turkey is currently experiencing the biggest case of déjà vu. Determined to recreate its War of Liberation speedrun, the Turkish players have finally had enough.

You see, Turks don't fight by normal human laws.

They fight by Pokémon laws.

And you already know what happens next.

"Turkey used Counter Offensive!"

It's super effective.

Operation Liberation began as Turkish players collectively locked in harder than Minecraft youtubers with server full of their fans.

The invaders expected resistance.

What they didn't expect was getting hit from three fronts. You see, Turkey, despite being very hyper sexcual against their neighbors border, were able to find good amount of allies overseas and they are very, Very friendly:

Turkey and its allies got the Slavs from their soft spot and they refuse to let it go:

So far, the war seems to be going well for the furries.

Meanwhile, I'm observing this geopolitical disaster with great interest while enjoying the lunch my girlfriend made for me and sipping the tears of disappointed family members from my favorite mug.

Thanks for your attention.

Stay tuned for more Furry Wars.

Sseth out.