There has been a lot of war, diplomacy, propaganda and serious strategy lately.
So before we all go back to fighting over borders, resources and old grudges, let’s remember one important thing:
It is still a game.
A very fun, very dramatic, occasionally ridiculous game.
So here is a small ceasefire in the form of some terrible country dad jokes.
Enjoy. Or don’t. That is also fair.
Why did Norway refuse?
Because it said No-way.
Why did Sweden start a dating app?
Because it wanted people to find their Swede-heart.
Why was Denmark good at drawing maps?
Because it always left a mark.
Why did Finland finish the war early?
Because they were Finnish-ed.
Why did Poland stand so tall?
Because it had strong Pole-sitioning.
Why did Hungary attack the supply line?
Because it was Hungary.
Why did Turkey join the war council?
Because things were getting heated.
Why did Chile bring armor?
Because war can be a little Chile.
Why did Greece avoid debt in the war?
Because this time, it wanted no ancient loans.
Why did France retreat from the kitchen?
Because the enemy had baguette control.
Why did Spain arrive late?
Because nobody expected the Spanish delay.
Why did Italy switch sides in the restaurant?
Because the pasta looked better over there.
Why did Austria bring music to the battlefield?
Because it wanted to conduct operations.
Why did the Netherlands survive the flood?
Because they Dutch-ed the water.
Why did Belgium stay neutral at breakfast?
Because it was waffling.
Why did Switzerland refuse to pick a side?
Because it was a neutral decision.
Why did Iceland stay calm?
Because it was ice-cold.
Why did Ireland win the argument?
Because it had Dublin the evidence.
Why did Scotland bring extra soldiers?
Because it wanted to kilt the enemy.
Why did England bring tea to the front?
Because morale was brewing.
Why did Germany arrive exactly on time?
Because being late was not part of the plan.
Why did Wales sing before battle?
Because it wanted to raise the dragon spirits.
Why did Portugal sail away?
Because it wanted to port-u-go.
Why did Romania bring a cape?
Because things were getting Transyl-violent.
Why did Croatia win the sea battle?
Because it had coast-to-coast confidence.
Why did Serbia refuse to back down?
Because it was serious about Serb-vival.
Why did Venezuela bring oil to the battlefield?
Because it wanted a slick victory.
Why did Iran join the race?
Because Iran all the way to the finish line.
Why did Portugal leave the meeting early?
Because it had to Portu-go.
Why did Ukraine keep farming during the war?
Because it had field advantage.
Why did Iraq start a band?
Because it was ready to Iraq and roll.
Why did Russia bring a blanket?
Because winter was coming, again.
Why did Canada apologize after winning?
Because it was sorry, but not that sorry.
Why did Mexico bring extra spice to diplomacy?
Because negotiations needed more heat.
Why did Brazil dance after the battle?
Because victory had rhythm.
Why did Argentina argue with the map?
Because it had territorial tango issues.
Why did Japan plan so carefully?
Because it wanted a rising strategy.
Why did China build a wall around its plans?
Because some strategies are better kept behind Great walls.
Why did India bring everyone to the meeting?
Because it had a billion opinions.
Why did Australia fight upside down?
Because it came from down under.
That is all from me.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled wars, revolts, diplomatic incidents and suspiciously well-timed invasions.
Feel free to add your own terrible country jokes below. The worse they are, the better.