War Era Gazette - Special Edition: Belgium on the move

Belgium Invades Great Britain

In an impressive display of might, the Belgian army has arrived on the British Isles.

Their initial landing in the late afternoon was swift, and their clearing and safeguarding of the coastal regions went smoothly. Then things became a bit more hectic as they marched toward London. Explosions and gunfire could be heard from miles outside the capital.

Difficult Night in London

Despite the blitzkrieg‑esque tactic of sending a bunch of pilled‑up Smurfs and hoping for the best, the Brits showed valor and held their ground throughout the night.

Although the night proved to be a sobering experience for the Smurfs, anyone who has ever fought a Smurf on pills knows what happens when darkness gives way to the first light on the fifth first day. That’s right: they start popping even more pills.

With impressive turbulence, clenched jaws, and eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, they advanced into the outer edges of the British capital. English civilians trembled in their beds. Victory seemed near…

Until suddenly, heavy techno beats echoed across the blood‑red sky.

Shadowy figures dressed entirely in black, wearing sunglasses and raving their minds out, descended upon the Belgians with absolute fury. And they weren’t alone — they were well‑fed and well‑equipped by the people in the backlines wearing blue shirts with cute little yellow collars and funny looking caps. They were providing these germans with some type of special meatballs and self-assembled furniture for some reason.

Techno Afterparty

The Germans and Swedes had arrived. The English had pleaded for their help right before going to bed. The knew they were no match for these roided up smurfs going absolutely ballistic in their capital.

What followed was another bloody battle — this time Belgians versus Germans & Swedes — a chaotic contest to determine who could take more pills and act more unhinged while doing so. Bullets were fired, fish’n’meat was eaten, bounties and contracts were promised, and many slurs were hurled.

After a long and fiercy battle filled with heavy beats and sweating while jumping up and down, the Smurfs proved victorious.

What happens now?

While the smurfs are getting drunk on flat beer with low ABV and ciders without foam, the entire European continent now holds its breath, watching with eyes wide in anticipation of what Belgium will do next.

The Brits, cowering in fear, have fled their lands and are using everything they can to delay a possible further Belgian advance — even going so far as to hand over their territories to Norway and Suriname.

The heroes of London

It is in times like these that heroes rise.
And it was on this battlefield that https://app.warera.io/user/695a443ff227be21e33da632 laid down his knives and picked up his guns. Henceforth he will now be known as Benny Butcher of the Brits.

He couldn’t have done it without his delicious pack of https://app.warera.io/user/6914fc507c985472c6a0bf36.
My god, those fries are delicious with a squirt of good ole mayonnaise op grootmoeders wijze.

Lest we forget: Benny cannot butch as Benny likes to butch without his armored pet animal, which he adores so much that he has bestowed upon it a very human‑sounding name — https://app.warera.io/user/6840b60458829802e82a18e6.

This creature — mouse? rabbit? guinea pig? who knows, but it packs a punch and strikes fear into the hearts of all its enemies. Rumor has it people saw it leaving the battlefield with not one, but two jet planes as spoils of war.

Who knows what this feisty little animal has in store for us next.