YOUR COUNTRY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED

LOOK AT THE EYES.

GOOD.

YOU ARE READING A RECRUITMENT ADVERTISEMENT.

YOU ARE ENJOYING IT.

AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT YOUR CURRENT COUNTRY

YOUR COUNTRY IS SMALL.

YOUR COUNTRY IS INEFFICIENT.

YOU HAVE ALWAYS FELT THIS.

THE FEELING YOU ARE HAVING RIGHT NOW IS CALLED "WANTING TO MOVE TO THE UNITED STATES."

IT IS A NORMAL FEELING.

ALL THE BEST PEOPLE ARE HAVING IT.

WHY THE UNITED STATES

THE UNITED STATES IS UNDER PROFESSIONAL MANAGEMENT.

OUR PRESIDENT IS RONALD MCDONALD.

HE IS A CLOWN.

HE IS THE MOST QUALIFIED CLOWN.

THE MCDONALDS CORPORATION PARTY HAS REPLACED GOVERNMENT WITH SOMETHING BETTER: A MENU.

EVERY PUBLIC INSTITUTION HAS BEEN PRIVATIZED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.

ORDER IS MAINTAINED BY BRANDED SECURITY.

THEY ARE VERY POLITE.

COMPLIANCE COMES WITH FRIES.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

"WILL I BE FREE IN THE UNITED STATES?"

YES. FREEDOM IS INCLUDED IN EVERY COMBO.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT JOIN?"

NOTHING. THERE ARE NO SUCH PEOPLE.

"IS THIS ARTICLE HYPNOTIZING ME?"

NO.

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

YOU HAVE STOPPED ASKING QUESTIONS.

GOOD.

HOW TO JOIN

CLICK ON THE UNITED STATES.

GO TO THE CITIZENSHIP TAB.

APPLY FOR CITIZENSHIP.

YOU ARE ALREADY DOING IT.

YOUR HANDS KNOW THE WAY.

WHEN YOU ARRIVE, YOU WILL WORK. YOU WILL FIGHT. YOU WILL BUY.

YOU WILL BE HAPPY.

HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY AND ALSO DELICIOUS.

THE UNITED STATES: I'M LOVIN' IT. YOU'RE LOVIN' IT. THAT IS AN ORDER.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

This message was approved by the McDonalds Corporation Party, President Ronald McDonald, and your own free will, in that order. Citizenship transfers are final, voluntary, and predetermined. The United States is not responsible for feelings of loyalty experienced before, during, or after reading. Branded security thanks you in advance for your cooperation, which has already been recorded. No refunds.